


Don't Worry About Me

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, General Hux/Reader - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Hux/Reader - Freeform, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Reader-Insert, Self-Insert, abuse mention, tw: abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 03:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5895784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Sir, I don’t trust Snoke.” you said loud enough for him to hear, yet still timidly.<br/>“And why’s that?” he narrowed his eyes at you, probably contemplating if you were still fit for your position.</p><p>After Starkiller Base is destroyed, you and the General discuss what will happen next. As memories of his past push their way past carefully constructed walls, you see Hux in a state you never expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Worry About Me

**Author's Note:**

> Based off a headcannon I saw where Hux had...a rough childhood. It's purely emotional!Hux garbage. I've just sunk further and further into the Hux trash chute and I don't regret anything.  
> TW: Abuse mention

Hux was always known for his strict composure. He was strong and relentless in his work and he had a burning need to be the best. He put all of his effort into his position in the First Order, and now it was gone.

Starkiller Base was destroyed.

You sat in a seat across from Hux, both of you silent, staring at the metal floor as if it held some kind of answer to an unspoken question. You had both decided it would be best to stay away from Ren for the time being. He was still recovering from his battle with the scavenger girl and he wasn’t in a very good mood. It was best to keep your distance, and while Ren’s command shuttle wasn’t the largest, there was enough space for you and Hux to distance yourselves from the wounded Knight.

“What happens now, General?” you asked, looking up from the floor to face your superior.

“We have to speak with Leader Snoke.” he replied.

“General...may I speak my mind for a moment?” you asked hesitantly.

“Hailey, you are my advisor. I hope you always speak your mind. It’s your job.” he said tiredly.

“This is a more...personal matter, sir.”

“Go ahead.”

“Sir, I don’t trust Snoke.” you said loud enough for him to hear, yet still timidly.

“And why’s that?” he narrowed his eyes at you, probably contemplating if you were still fit for your position.

“He’s using you. Both of you. I mean, look at what he’s putting Kylo through. He starts the last of his training in two days. He will barely be able to stand without ripping his wounds open by then!”

“He believes Ren is capable.” Hux said, a touch of bitterness and anger in his tone.

“And look what he’s doing to you, sir. Pardon me, but you’ve been nervous and restless for days. You’re worried about what he’s going to do. And I know you’re trying to maintain this rigid composure, but your eyes give you away. Do you trust him, General?”

“You would do well not to speak about things which you do not understand.” he spat, his voice filled with venom, his underlying rage clear in his words. He rose from his seat and stormed off towards the medbay area where Kylo Ren was recovering.

You sighed, tired and defeated. It would be better to go talk to him later when he had cooled off a bit. You looked back at the ground, hoping Hux would realize you meant well.

-X-

You were on your way to the small medbay to check on Kylo when you heard a muffled noise coming from a small room to your right. You listened for a second. It was a sound you weren’t expecting. Whoever was on the other side of the door was breathing heavily, almost gasping for air. There were only a few people on the command shuttle and you knew most of them were in the medbay repairing Kylo, perhaps one piloting the shuttle, although you suspected it was on autopilot for the time being. All that was left was…

“Hux?” you tapped your knuckles against the metal of the door.

The breathing quieted and you had to listen harder to make sure it was still there. You tapped the keypad to open the door. It slid out of your way with a hiss. Behind the door, the room was dark. It looked like a meditation room, probably meant for Kylo Ren’s personal use and training. Hux was sitting on the leather chair, his legs curled to his chest, forehead resting on his knees.

“General?” you whispered.

His head snapped up, eyes meeting yours. He looked panicked, his face was blotchy and red and he was breathing heavily as if each breath required herculean effort. He stared at you for a moment before letting his head collapse into his hands. A sob tore its way out of his throat.

You rushed forward, kneeling in front of the chair, unsure of what to do. You’d never seen him like this.

“What happened, sir?”

“Please, Hailey, just go away.” he said weakly.

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.” you said. You were stubborn and worried, a strong combination.

“You were right.” he mumbled into his knees.

“About what?”

“Snoke. He’s using us...abusing us into doing his dirty work.”

You nodded. “Why are you crying? I thought you’d be angry.”

Hux wiped angrily at his face, wet droplets soaking into his sleeve. “It’s just a memory.” he said. “No need to concern yourself with it.”

“Clearly there is a need for concern. It’s got you worked up. You’re the most unshakable person I know. General, you can trust me.” you said gently, taking a calculated risk and placing your hand on his.

Hux was silent for a while, debating what to say and how to start.

“When I was a child,” he began “my father was very distant. He worked with the Empire. He was a leader, hell-bent on perfection in every aspect of his life, especially his troops. I think it stressed him.”

You looked up, watching tears pool in his eyes. He was gripping your hand almost painfully tight.

“He would expect that same level of me. I was a child. I couldn’t be all of that. So he would hit me, beat me into submission until I resembled something acceptable to him.”

You stared at him, feeling the prickling sting of tears in your eyes.

“Never where anyone would notice, of course. He would risk losing his position if anyone knew. But it only got worse as I got older. My mother didn’t care. She would leave. She wouldn’t defend me. I think she was afraid it would transfer to her as well, but she...she was supposed to care!” Hux choked out.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you listened. Hux’s grip on your hand grew tighter, as if you were the only thing linking him to reality.

“And it stayed with me...the need to be everything. The drive to be perfect. Because how else could it end if not in pain and hatred? He hated me. I hated myself...for letting it happen, for still letting it affect me. I still hate myself.”

A sob escaped your lips as you sat holding his hand and watching him cry through your own watery eyes. You couldn’t stand this anymore. You climbed to your feet and wrapped your arms around him in a tight hug. He put an arm around you, hesitating before leaning into your body.

He stood, shakily at first, until he stood over you, hugging you closer. He dipped his head so it rested on your shoulder. You could feel his tears soaking through the fabric of your uniform shirt. He was shaking as you held him tightly, rubbing gentle circles on his back, attempting to soothe him.

“It’s okay.” you whispered, the hand that was rubbing his back moving to gently brush through his fiery hair. “He can’t hurt you. He won’t ever get to hurt you again.”

Hux nodded against your shoulder.

“I’ll always be here for you. That’s my job, right General?” you said with a half smile.

He pulled back to look at you. “That it is, Hailey.” he smiled weakly. “Thank you.”

“Will you be okay?” you asked him.

“I’ll be alright. Don’t worry about me.”

“I always worry about you, General.” you replied.

It was all happening before you knew what “it” was. Hux was leaning down, his lips pressing tenderly to yours in a kiss full of meaning and gratitude and emotion. His hand cupped your cheek and you leaned into the warmth of his palm. You let your eyes close as you sighed into the kiss, leaning in in a desperate attempt to get closer to him. His arm snaked around your waist and held you where you were. You hadn’t felt this happy in years.

He pulled back just a bit so his forehead rested on yours. “Thank you, Hailey.”

You were sure your face was red. Your skin felt like fire. You nodded. Hux turned to leave the room. He was almost to the door when you turned.

“General, wait.” you said, following him.

“Yes?”

You threw your arms around his neck, snuggling into his shoulder, enjoying the feeling of being held probably more than you should. This would be very out of line if he hadn’t just kissed you. You still felt a little odd. He was your superior.

“Thank you.” you whispered against his shoulder. “For trusting me, I mean.”

“I hope this doesn’t making things uncomfortable for you…”

“Oh...I…” you backed away from him, face going red with embarrassment. You thought he liked you, potentially loved you and wanted you and now it seemed like you were just his advisor and friend.

“No! Wait. that came out wrong.” he said, his eyes watching your face go from content to horribly disappointed. “What I meant was I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable. I care about you. As more than your General. I…” he thought for a moment. “only wish for you to feel the same.”

You knew emotional matters were difficult for him, and now it was clear why. You accepted this as an admission of how he felt.

You don’t have to worry about that.” you smiled, a blush crossing your cheeks.

“But I always worry about you.” he smirked, your own words echoing in your ears. He leaned down to kiss your cheek. “Now, come on. We need to go see how Ren is healing. We’ve got a lot to discuss.”


End file.
